I Have Decided

“I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back,

though none go with me, still I will follow, no turning back, no turning back.”

If I close my eyes, I can still see the crowd of teenagers gathered around the outside of the swimming pool at our church camp, softly singing the words to this song.  With fingers wound through the metal fence surrounding the pool, we watched in joyful anticipation as the next young person dipped their head back under the water in the symbolic gesture of Christian baptism.  Cheers, clapping and whistles of celebration erupted from all the witnesses as the newest member of God’s family lifted their head out of the water.

For Christians, there is no better feeling than watching a fellow human being surrender their lives to Jesus Christ.  It doesn’t matter if you know the person or not, it is an event to be celebrated and rejoiced over.  I have personally witnessed many baptisms over the years, and each time the event brings me to tears as I rejoice over the new found hope and salvation that person now has through Jesus.

But I digress.

Let’s go back in time.  Back when I was young and full of hope and dreams for the future.  Back when I was surrounded by a youth group, church family and loving youth ministers.  Back when it felt like the love of God and support of Christian friends and family members could catapult us into the unknown, no matter what we would face.  I remember singing the words of the song, “I Have Decided” so many times, they are imprinted upon my heart.  I remember meditating on those very words; considering what it might look like one day if I had to walk down that road of faith alone, not a single soul to walk beside me, and yet I still carry on.

I have decided to follow Jesus.

No turning back.

As a young teenager living a fairly sheltered life in small town America, I really could not comprehend the depth and breadth of those words at that time.  I could never have foreseen how my own faith would be tested and tried over the next three decades, in various forms.  I had made my own confession of faith, and I believed with all of my heart that Jesus was my Savior, but I could not have known the full burden of how this proclamation would be fulfilled in my own life.

What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ  — Philippians 3:7-8

The ideal back then seemed so easy. Sure, I could follow Jesus. How hard could that be? So much revolved around my faith that not following Jesus didn’t even seem like an option. Sure, I could walk down that road alone, I didn’t really care what other people thought anyway, right?

Oh the emotions and fearlessness of being young and having the whole world in front of you! Oh, the wisdom we should have spent more time gleaning from our elders and those who have traveled the road before us. So much of what I have experienced as an adult is completely different than how I imagined it would be. So much of the faith I confessed as a youth has grown, matured and developed roots into something far more beautiful that I ever dreamed.

I have discovered how incredibly faithful God is to see us through both our darkest valleys as well as our highest mountain tops. I have developed a vitally important relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ, that sustains and restores and redeems me each and every day. I am constantly learning how to love others as Jesus does; how to come alongside those who need encouragement and share my hope and faith with them. I have a different perspective on material possessions and accomplishments; growing daily in the knowledge that knowing and living to glorify God in all that I do is truly the greatest achievement I could obtain.

I have decided to follow Jesus.

No turning back, no turning back.