“Here’s a little song I wrote, you might want to sing it note for note….”
Many of you might not be able to finish the first sentence of this very popular song from the late eighties; but if you can, you most certainly know what comes next.
“Don’t worry, be happy!”
Needless to say, I happily (pun intended) introduced my nine-year old daughter to the song several months ago when I added it to my Spotify playlist and commenced upon singing the chorus out loud to her, multiple times. I gathered the eye-rolling response I received in return was a sign that she was not impressed with either the catchy lyrics or my harmonious vocal ability.
And now, I had the song stuck in my head, as it had done so many times in my youth.
Last Friday, July 21st, we celebrated the four-year anniversary of the day my husband, Josh, was taken to the hospital and our life as we knew it changed dramatically. I took the day off work, and despite the heat, we decided to be adventurous and foray into the wild world of miniature golf. Sixteen holes and thirty minutes later, as sweat dripped off our foreheads, the joy of the challenge began to lose some of its allure. Josh was valiantly trying to keep score, focus on the game and deal with the attitudes of his wife and daughter which had turned south fairly quickly.
Sitting on a bench in the shade as we prepared for the last few holes, Jesi looks over at me as Josh announced the current rankings in our game. Not surprising, he was in lead, with Jesi in second and myself holding up the rear.
“At least I’m not in last place, Mom.” Jesi huffed as she glanced over at me with frustration in her eyes.
“It’s just a game, Jesi. I’m not going to be upset and let it ruin the rest of my day.” I replied, summoning everything I had within me to remain positive and encouraging with her.
“But Mom, you are always happy.” Again with the eye-rolling.
Now, here’s the catch. I’m not always happy. I struggle with anxiety and fear and uncertainties. There are times when I find myself frustrated with life in general and the “don’t worry, be happy” lyrics have long since faded away. Contentment, satisfaction and a sense of well-being seem just outside of my grasp. Happiness is not what my daughter sees.
What is visible to Jesi is my joy. Joy that I fight for every single minute of every single day. Joy that is far beyond the mere surface emotion of happiness; a depth of assurance and confidence in God’s faithfulness and in his promises to me as his child. Joy that springs forth hope in the bleakness of circumstances and darkest of days.
“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” — John 15:11
This is what I strive for. What I pray for.
I might not always be happy; but the Joy of the Lord will always be my strength.
Beyond Room 908 